is your mom at the bar?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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