im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
