I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
