I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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