Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
