atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
