If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
