He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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