Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
