i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
