i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
