To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
