I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize