your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Houston, we have a blender
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
