a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
