It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
