Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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