I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
