What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize