So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
