Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
