it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
