is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
