That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
