Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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