so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
