Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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