is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
