Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
