is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
