i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize