Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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