I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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