Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
