So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
