didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
