We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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