i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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