Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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