Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
