Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize