Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
