I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
