remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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