My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I did not marry a roomba.
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