I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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