Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
