I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
