11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
