I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
