Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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