You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
