i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
