is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
