I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
