She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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