And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My life is pants optional.
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