this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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