This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
