All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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