So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
