We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So much rum. So many feels.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
