just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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