Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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