I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's the barista slut.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
