smell my finger.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
