ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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