Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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