The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's always time for handjobs
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
