yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
