This girl is more easily done than said...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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