my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
