I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There r osticjed everywhere
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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