I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
